Forgiveness

One of the hardest things to do is to "actually" forgive others of things that have hurt you deeply. Even if you have said you have forgiven them, there is a part of human nature that wants to hang on to the hurt and therefore we do not "actually" forgive and in doing so allow Satan and his workhorses a foothold in our lives. I can actually admit that I am living proof of this. In Elementary School through High School I was taunted, teased and treated in ways that left deep scars. Even though I said I had forgiven them for what they had done, I held onto the hurt and let the lies define who I was. The hurt, abandonment, ridicule and other damaging experiences throughout my childhood and adult life left scars that although I thought I had forgiven those who inflicted them, I hadn't because I was holding onto that hurt and the lies because I had defined myself by them. The wounded little girl inside of me was stunted and not allowed to be free and be a little girl and be herself. At age 33 I began a journey of healing that started when I took the first steps to see a counselor. That counselor was God orchestrated and God used her to facilitate His healing at the right times. Now at 34, I have gained a lot of insight into who God truly made me and healing in all the areas He knew I needed. Was this an easy walk? No! It was painful, it was hard to swallow the fact that I have held onto bitterness, anger and hate, yes, even hate towards others and the injustice as I saw it that happened. I had to even swallow wishing others ill because of my anger. These are all sins my friends and I had to rid myself of those things to truly be free and embrace the blessings, joy, freedom, calling and divine, original design God intended for me to be. I thought that all my pain was there to stay forever but then when I attended a weekend counseling seminar led by Awake and Arise for the second time, it was a God experience that has now changed my life. All I can say is that forgiveness was offered and received and given to all past offenses by others and by myself. I then hear 7X70 by Chris August and it truly hit home. He sings towards the end of the song: "God picked up my heart and helped me through and shined a light on the one thing left to do and that's forgive you, I Forgive You." The last two years of my life, God has been doing just that, shining a light on all the things I needed to allow Him to expose and clean up so that there was only one thing left to do and continue to walk out daily and that was Forgiveness and say " I Forgive You." No matter if that was going to be received by all those who hurt me, it didn't matter because I was saying it on my end to God so that His healing could begin in those places. The rest of the song from start to finish is below. All I can say is that when we feel all hope is lost, God comes in and shines a light and reminds us just how small we have made Him and just how BIG HE truly is.

THIS IS A TIME IN YOUR LIFE WHEN YOU MUST LEARN TO LET GO: of past hurts, loved ones, of possessions, of control. In order to let go of something that is precious to you or that has defined you, you need to rest in My Presence, where you are complete. Take time to bask in the Light of My Love and Forgiveness. As you relax more and more, your grasping hand gradually opens up, releasing your prized possession into My Care. You can feel secure, even in the midst of cataclysmic changes, through awareness of My continual Presence. The One who never leaves you is the same One who never changes: I am the same yesterday, today and forever. As you release more and more things into My care, remember that I never let go of your hand. Herein lies your security, which no one and no circumstance can take from you. Psalm 89:15; Heb. 13:8; Isaiah 41:13

Lyrics to Chris August 7X70

I’ve been living in this house here
Since the day that I was born
These walls have seen me happy
But most of all they’ve seen me torn
They’ve heard the screaming matches
That made a family fall apart
They’ve had a front row seat
To the breaking of my heart

7 times 70 times
I’ll do what it takes to make it right
I thought the pain was here to stay
But forgiveness made a way
7 times 70 times
There’s healing in the air tonight
I’m reaching up to pull it down
Gonna wrap it all around

I remember running down the hallway
Playing hide-and-seek
I didn’t know that I was searching
For someone to notice me
I felt alone and undiscovered
And old enough to understand
Just when I’m s’posed to be learning to love you
Let me doubt again

7 times 70 times
I’ll do what it takes to make it right
I thought the pain was here to stay
But forgiveness made a way
7 times 70 times
There’s healing in the air tonight
I’m reaching up to pull it down
Gonna wrap it all around

I lost count of the ways you let me down
But no matter how many times you weren’t around
I’m all right now

God picked up my heart and helped me through
And shined a light on the one thing left to do
And that’s forgive you
I forgive you

7 times 70 times
If that’s the cost I’ll pay the price
7 times 70 times
I’ll do what it takes to make it right
I thought the pain was here to stay
But forgiveness made a way

7 times 70 times
There’s healing in this house tonight
I’m reaching up to pull it down
Gonna wrap it all around
Yeah
I’m gonna wrap it all around

I’ve been living in this house here
Since the day that I was born